The yelling struck Grant’s ears like nails on a chalkboard. Every freakin’ night! Did they ever get along? His dad, John, sounded even more hoarse than normal. Soon he would light up another cigarette and work on killing a new branch of his lungs. He had COPD, emphysema, and a malignant case of being a pain in the ass.
Stacy did little to help. Sure, she had always been nice enough to Grant, but as his stepmother she never failed to need a thank you. Like her place wasn’t worth anything without his words of affirmation. She preyed on the needs of others and loved to insert her necessity. It was how she maintained her relationships.
Most teenagers probably wouldn’t have been able to pick this up but Grant had a passion for psychology. He had taken General Psychology last year in his senior year of high school and instantly fell in love. The answers to all of life’s turmoil lay in the understanding of people and their behaviors. It was incredible. Overnight he found himself taking pity on the bullies he had grown up with. Those that he had always found annoying or mean suddenly seemed understandable.
They were hurt and simply acted out of it.
The sound of glass shattering from the kitchen pulled at Grant’s attention. He closed his eyes, hummed a soft tune in his head, and resumed reading his book. He wouldn’t be one of those people that let their behaviors spiral out of control. No, he recognized exactly how messed up his parents were and could beat it… had to.
His phone chirped and Grant inspected the message his girlfriend, Tia, had left. They had been dating on and off again for the last couple years.
‘We hanging out tonight?’
Grant listened to the commotion outside and shook his head. Not tonight, just in case. In case what?
He replied: ‘Not tonight, babe. Got some reading to do.’
Grant tried not to think of the disappointment he would cause Tia. Part of him wondered if he should just break it off with her again. She was a beautiful and smart girl full of potential and deserved much better than him. Perhaps in the arms of some older, successful, man who could provide her a stable life. One without the burdens and stresses of a totally messed up family. Free of having to worry if today would be the day that John would send Stacy to ER. Or perhaps one day Stacy would snap like a twig and lose it on John.
Such dysfunction… how had those two ever believed they should be together.
Grant thumbed through his book– denial, delusions, wishful thinking? Maybe no thinking at all.
The phone chirped again and read: You never want to go out anymore…
Grant read the message and tossed it aside. He hated texting. What a sorry excuse for communication. If over half of communication was non verbal, how were people supposed to pick up on the non verbal– or written– aspect? It led to confusion, misinterpretation, and purposeful passive aggression!
Ugh!
Grant nosed his way back into a chapter and lost himself to the concepts. Minutes melted into hours as things simply began to make sense again. A knock on the door interrupted his concentration and he felt his annoyance blossom.
John walked into the room, puffing on what was left of his cigarette. Placing his hands on his hips, he let the cigarette dangle from his mouth a moment before finally fetching it with his fingers. The way he held and revered that rolled up piece of paper spoke volumes to his fondness in them. Addiction. Sublimation.
“Sorry about that, pal. We got a little out of hand.” John said this as if it were a simple passing thought. “Money’s tight… makes for hard choices, ya know?” John rubbed his hands on his dingy and overstretched shirt.
Grant nodded. “Yeah okay,” was all he could manage.
“I knew you would get it. You’re a smart man, Grant. Didn’t get that from me… Anyway, we’re good. You don’t need to hide in here on our account. Go out with your friends or something.”
“I’m okay,” Grant shrugged. He was always ‘okay.’ Any other state of being simply wasn’t okay with John. It would be met with either hostility or mocking.
“You should really go out more,” John said scornfully. “Staying cooped in here doesn’t do anything for you.”
“I’m studying–“
“–To be a psychologist… right, right.” John interrupted. “That’s phooey. What, you’re going to be doctor? Wake up! We don’t have that sort of dough to get you through that sort of schooling. Find a trade, my boy. I’ve got a buddy who makes good money welding,” John finished, rubbing his thumb on his forefinger.
Grant clenched his jaw. It wasn’t that he had a problem with the trades. In fact, he read an interesting article about how they made up the backbone of their economy and were projected to have a severe shortage in the next ten years. It would be a very logical choice free of worry from massive student debt.
But he wasn’t passionate about it! There was no understanding in it. He could get lost in the work, sure, but it didn’t fix anything. At least not in his shattered soul.
“Sure, dad. That’s not a bad idea either. Maybe even electrical work. I’ll look into it. But I don’t want to go out tonight. Maybe tomorrow.”
Though Grant knew it still irritated John, at least his willingness to consider the trades seemed to offset this.
“That-a-boy,” John said, thunking him on his shoulders. “You’ll thank me later. Alright, I gotta go out for a bit then. Errr, broke the hallway mirror out there. Watch out for Stacy, will ya? She’s in a mood today.” John gave him a quick wink and disappeared from sight.
Grant sighed. It was nearing ten thirty and he was feeling tired. Regretfully, he closed his book and changed into his pajamas thinking about his plan. He had been applying for as many scholarships as he could and would find a way to pay his way through school with or without his parent’s help.
It would be better that way anyway. He didn’t need Stacy getting her claws into this and John would just try to shut it down. A quick trip to the bathroom to relieve himself and brush his teeth and then he returned to his room. Before climbing into bed he opened his computer again and looked up a few electrician programs he would ‘consider.’
Climbing into bed he held steady to his smoke and mirrors plan.
The End.
Author Cameron Kielb
Thanks for reading!
This story was inspired by the realization that everyone faces some sort of challenge and are living unique lives. — Sonder.
What are your obstacles in your life? Are you letting your challenges define your action? Are you simply trying to avoid obstacles altogether?
Challenges are vital for growth. Don’t avoid them– conquer them!
You can do it.
~Author Cameron Kielb
Author Cameron Kielb 